The only time anyone should use the phrase “ride or die” is if you’re a paramedic and your patient won’t get in the ambulance

(Source: venatrix12)

How cold is it?

  • South: you should wear a jacket AND a hat
  • North: if you go to the mail box, you might die

Job interview

  • Interviewer: What are three words that describe you?
  • Me: Boss Ass Bitch


when i’m a pinky toe and i see the corner of a piece of furniture



When it’s 0300 and a pt is talking to you

Different meanings.



When a normal person says “Keds,” I think Spinal stabilization, not shoes.

When a normal person says “a lot of blood,” I think of a very, very different amount.

When a normal person says “ALS,” I think of Advanced Life Support, not Lou Gehrig’s disease.

Thank God i’m not the only one who thinks about this.